and the Time Alone

I AM GOING NUTS.

Seriously, something is wrong with me. I don't know what it is, and I don't know when it started happening. I started noticing like two or three months ago, maybe, I think. I don't know. I need a personal vacation.

Yesterday Jacob was talking about how when he reads a book by himself or watches a movie or plays his guitar, even if he's home alone, it still doesn't feel like "personal time" when he's around home. He said, "Do you know what I mean?" I said, "No."

Then I thought about it. And that makes sense. I need time away. Just a weekend. I think I'm going to go to Disneyland. Find a weekend where I haven't made any plans, and just go. Just me. Spend at least a day there by myself. Turn off my phone for a few days. Just be alone. I don't think I've been alone since I left Simpson.

I feel overwhelmed, and I don't even know what I'm overwhelmed by. I guess moving, finding a job, going to school, nearly always fighting with my mom, and having everyone texting me all hours of the day and night with their problems--I love that, I LOVE that people do that, and trust me with stuff. I LOVE IT. Don't stop. I just need like a weekend break. Time to recoop. Be with Jesus. Find my center. Maybe I'll feng shui my hotel room.